Tag Archives: child

Motivation and Compromise

Posted in children, Family, Homeschooling, Kids, parenting, Uncategorized, Unschooling by

My son is very goal motivated. It is not my natural style of parenting to bribe my kids with a reward, but he often will come up with his own chores and rewards haha. And it works for him, so not always does my parenting style match with his personal style. We find the happy middle ground.

Right now he is in full swing of a goal motivation phase of life. He has been waking up and asking if I have a job for him. While I think of something, he beats me to it and comes up with;

“How about I earn five coins on teach me (iPad school app), then get dressed, put all my dirty clothes in the hamper, make myself breakfast, clean up my dishes and earn an egg on reading eggs (a computer reading program) is that a good enough job for one Ben 10 episode?”

As I am waking up, sipping my tea and still in my jammie’s thinking about our day, I realize welllllll that does cover some reading, math and spelling…not to mention it will buy me time to sip my tea and relax before I have to get cracking on the day ahead. Yup, sounds good to me, go for it.

He zips around and accomplishes his chores then sits down to watch his episode of Ben 10. I’m still sipping my tea and in my jammie’s…haha!

After a while, I figure I better get moving, so I get up and get ready for the day.

Side note: Way less stressful morning, then the days when we used to race around the house in a state of chaos trying to get out the door for school, often forgetting lunches, backpacks, jackets, even shoes!

Well I’m up and ready, the episode is over and he’s hoping for another job. I hand him a spray bottle and rag, he goes spot hunting on the kitchen floor, then grabs a duster and eliminates most of the surface dust in the living room. I’m not ready yet for him to watch more tv, so I send him into his room to tidy up…to avoid child labor accusations Haha…, I send him outside to jump on the trampoline and hunt for a lizard as the final part of his job.

Television, computer games, iPad apps, audio stories, are all things my son will gravitate towards if they are options. We lump them all under the title of “tech” He would happily spend the entire day tech hopping if possible.

I don’t mind technology in our life, but I do mind too much of them, and I am extremely picky on what tech is approved. A degree of educational value needs to be involved for it to be on our list of ok technology. This is the area in our lives where I do not willy nilly give in to the nag factor.

I like to see my kids physically moving their bodies, spending time outside in nature, exercising their natural curiosity and being active creative kids. So this job situation has brought about many opportunities for compromise.

Yesterday I sent the kids outside with bowls full of seeds and their job was to plant the garden beds with these seeds. Immediately my son asks if all the seeds can go into one hole. Haha! I replied with specific directions, read directly from the seed packaging. They spent a good 45 minutes outside gardening. Which was not only a job, but also part of a lesson we have been doing on GMO crops and the bees. “Vanishing Bees” is the documentary that spurred this adventure. My children have gone from fearing the bees, to wanting a bee hive in our garden.

Another side note: take note of how all these aspects of our life are intertwined…our life incorporates learning, a job, responsibility, and yet it is all enjoyable for those involved…it’s our life not a desk or a classroom where my kids learn the most. I love the saying, we learn about the real world IN the real world, not a classroom.

I’m not sure if I have a specific point to my post, but I’m not the goal oriented one in this house haha!

I do like that even though I’m not a goal oriented person, my son is and I can embrace his needs in a way that benefits his growing mind and body. And that homeschooling or parenting doesn’t have to be torture, yelling, fighting, etc….you can find happy compromises that suit not only your needs, but your child’s needs as well.

Ah ha there is my point:

Find happy compromises that suit not only your needs, but your child’s needs as well.

Unschooling In The Little Red School House

Posted in children, Family, Homeschooling, Kids, parenting, School-at-home, Uncategorized, Unschooling by

They say the first step is to admit your addiction.

So I’m going to make that first step here in this public arena!

I am an unschooling mama with an addiction to curriculum.

It is the truth, I love both worlds of homeschooling. I like to take what I like and dump the rest. There is a reason we as a family did not fit the standard school box, we see far too many flaws with that system. Homeschooling offers such a fabulous way to dump the flaws and run wild with what works for your family!

Being a homeschooler gives me a brilliant excuse to purchase some of the most amazing curriculum, manipulatives, supplies, etc. I just love back to school sales!

However, I also have a serious fondness of unschooling methods, so there is an internal battle forging on inside of me. My inner teacher, curriculum addicted self battles on with my free spirit, trust in my children, natural loving, unschooling parenting self. Hence the reason I consider myself a relaxed schooler.

I believe in the unschooling methods I’ve read about, they simply make sense. I have seen the wheels turning in my children’s minds when they are given the time and trust required to learn on their own accord. Unschooling methods bring a massive sense of peace and calmness to our lives. The kids are happy learning and living in an educational world with many new wonders around each corner.

But I struggle with how to record keep when unschooling and my husband has reservations about the unschooling method. (Which is another post for another time)

I graduated college with a degree in child development. I was being groomed to be a classroom teacher, and yet all the theories I was taught to bring into a classroom, genuinely fits the unschooling methods better.

In the modern classroom setting, a good teacher (because there are a few of them out there ya’know) simply can’t implement what they hope to accomplish. It’s just not possible. There are far too many hurdles. (But again that’s another post for another day)

I mentioned my addiction to curriculum, but I may have forgotten to mention our little red school house…I really do enjoy “playing school” when my kids are willing to “play the students” haha!

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It is the perfect place to keep our school materials and gives us a place to go and do school. A great place to keep all the record keeping administrative type things in order. A great place for the kids to “play school” with their friends. My kids enjoy being the teacher much more than the students. Haha!

Side note: I have noticed in the spirit of Charlotte Mason’s narration methods, when my children play teacher, I get a fantastic glimpse into what they know well and what still needs a little work.

I did mention the internal battle right? Yup, at some point in time I came up with “relaxed schooler” because that is what we are.

We go into the school-house and do school to fill my needs to teach, use the fabulous curriculum that has been given the stamp of approval from my kids, and have paper work for my record keeping.

However, majority of our lives are simply chocked full of relaxed style learning. I like to say: We go into the school-house to do school and when we are finished, we go out into the world and learn something. Haha!

Shark Out Of Water!

Posted in Beach, children, Family, Homeschooling, Kids, parenting, Unschooling by

Did you know there are sharks in them there waters?

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I actually wondered quietly to myself….will this fabulous experience of getting to touch, hold, feel this dogfish shark create fears of the water, but so far so good.

Just Another Day At The Beach.

Life’s a Beach!

Posted in children, Family, Homeschooling, Kids, parenting, Uncategorized, Unschooling by

During the summer we often take the day off from school and hit the beach with family or friends.

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(Dude, we must be those homeschooler types you hear about that are grooming the next Jeff Spicoli…what could you possibly learn in that vast nothingness?!?)

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Well it’s not all boogie boarding and sunbathing…

We dig…

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We search…

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We find…

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We research…

We often stop by the local sea center and ask questions after a productive day at the beach, as well as pet their fishy friends.

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They let us use their equipment and microscopes to look at our teensy tiny microscopic finds.

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You decide if a day at the beach is worth cutting class.

I think so!

P.S. Did I mention I’m typically lounging in a chair, enjoying the sunshine, the warm sand in my toes and hanging out with good company or a good book. And I also learn a few interesting things along the way!

I mention this because so many parents THINK they don’t have what it takes to homeschool, but the hardest part of homeschooling is making the decision to do it!

Go Climb A Tree!

Posted in children, Family, Homeschooling, Kids, parenting, Unschooling by

Climbing a tree….one of the passages into childhood….

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No longer allowed at schools…..sad!

I really want to rant and rave about the need for tree climbing in our children’s lives. How the element of danger is necessary in the developmental process and how we as a society have removed nearly all degrees of danger (& nature) from our children’s natural play.

No climbing, you’ll get hurt
No jumping, you’ll get hurt
No running, you’ll get hurt

When my son was a toddler and we were heavily involved with a moms group. The other mothers would see him toddle off and start climbing. They would inform me, as if I’m not watching my own child. “He’s going to fall!!!” they would announce it in a panicked voice.

Not only was I watching my son, I had already assessed the situation and realize that if he did fall he might get a little scared, but he wouldn’t be injured. And it was a good opportunity for him to learn his abilities. My replies were generally on the lines of “if he does fall he will only do it once” or “if he does fall, he will learn from it”

One of the other mothers said to me during group, I can’t believe your busy son has never been to the emergency room when my sweet docile daughter has been three times already.

I just had to laugh at the descriptive personalities. Busy, sweet, docile…ha ha! Parents can be so bias at times towards their own sweet innocent darling perfect children. Especially when they hang out with busy dirty dangerous children whose parents clearly don’t know that germs and danger exist. Ha ha! (Oops my sarcastic side just slipped out)

The truth is her sweet docile daughter never had the chance to experience danger. She never had any “safe danger” to play with. She had no idea that life could be dangerous. It must be a safe situation, no one was hollering “stop you’ll get hurt!” So when opportunities came up and no one was looking (aka hovering) she would go about her normal developmental path and voila danger would arise, but she had no clue danger was there.

We as a society are so preoccupied with making the world a safer place for our children (which sounds nice) we are not realizing the consequences.

1) We are raising children that never get to experiment with “safe danger” Children today are not learning and making brain connections on their danger boundaries. (Which can also go into personal space boundaries and many other body awareness/social issues, but we can save that for another post down the road)

2) We are not outside in nature enough climbing, jumping, running, etc…Our children are becoming oblivious to outside sounds as well as sounds of danger and their intuition skills.

3) We are creating “overly worried” children. Worried about irrational fears, because they are told constantly don’t do this, don’t do that, this is dangerous, that is dangerous, don’t touch that, it’s dirty, it has germs, but they aren’t fully sure what they are supposed to do, or what real danger is, they only know its out there lurking in every corner, waiting to get them and it must be something bad….really really bad!

Now that I am involved in a homeschooling group, instead of the hover mama club, I see lots of tree climbing, free happy kids developing not only physical abilities but loads of brain power.

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So I plead with you, get out into nature and let your kids climb trees!

Reality Check for New Moms – Scrapbooking

Posted in children, Family, Kids, parenting by

I keep getting “Creative Memories” sale notifications. This has brought to my attention the massive amounts of scrapbooking materials I purchased right before I had my first child. I was ready to make amazing perfect creative memories. Or open a scrapbooking store, lol.

I took my first child to have his photos taken professionally every month on the day of his birth, so my scrap-book would be perfect, he’s 1 month old, 2 months old, 3 months old, and so on…I did this for at least the first two years of his life…when baby number two arrive I continue each month, but quickly dropped the professional aspect and only really had time to pluck out cute shots from my obsessive ‘camera in baby’s face constantly’ collection.

This obsessive photo documentation must give you some insight to my determination towards making these creative memories. I am the youngest of five and the only documentation I have of myself as a baby is the card from the hospital nursery identifying me.

Truth be known alllll of those amazing scrapbooking tools went untouched.

All I had time for was sticking each months photos into an old fashion paper scrapbook and jotting some notes down on the sides of each photo stating what he or she was doing developmentally or some comical tid bit that happened. Spelling wasnt perfect, handwriting was messy, even have some scratched out words, etc but the intention was to pluck from this book and make a beautiful perfect creative memory out of it when I had time. Ahhh good intentions….haha!

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I was flipping thru this book the other day and realizing this is THE BEST CREATIVE MEMORY EVER!!! I love this book. I love to flip thru the pages, read the notes, see the photos, look back on those fun, crazy, TIRED days and know from the scratched out and quickly jotted notes just how it really was, perfect in our own special way. I love having this hard copy because I recently lost digital photos that were not backed up in time.

I highly recommend new moms to toss aside the notion of perfect.

Your definition of perfect will quickly be changing. You will endure spit up, poop explosions, inconvenient lactation issues, exhaustion, bad hair days, bad mood days, messy house, the biggest laundry piles you’ve ever seen, etc… Simply try to enjoy your child(ren) during that chaotic time, document it the best you can without causing yourself additional insanity. When things get less crazy and you look back, you will be so glad you have this silly scratched out not perfect memory book of the kids.